Echo and Narcissus
by Return of Yagami Iori
Summary: A glimpse into the mind of Narcissa Malfoy. Rated R for descriptions of abuse and death. My first HP post. Plz r/r!


Echo and Narcissus  
  
By Yagami Iori  
  
A/N: She belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing her and her family. By the way, the maiden name I've given her, Aspasia, means "welcome", so her name means "welcome numbness".  
  
When I was young, my mother always told me that I would have everything my heart desired. She assured me that my beauty and magical aptitude would land me any man that I ever desired. If only she knew how accurate her prophecy was… Or how it would come to destroy me. If only she was here today to see her darling daughter, little Narcissa, changed and distorted as I now am.  
  
In school, I studied Etymancy, the magic of names. My name means "numbness". Perhaps that is why I feel so isolated from the world at times. Like my namesake, the mythical youth Narcissus, staring ever into his own reflection and leaving the poor nymph Echo to wither away into nothingness. My isolation is not of my own making. It is a result of he who I chose to love. He without whom I cannot live. He who has tainted my soul.  
  
I was still in school when I met him. I was a Gryffindor, he a Slytherin. His long shining locks were what first enticed me to him. His hair was almost as pale as mine, but with a golden tint that made it so much more beautiful. I longed for him, desiring him with my every waking moment. His name, Lucius, means "light". There was a light which emanated from his every movement, a light that drew others to him like insects to a flame. But there was an inner darkness to him, a darkness that I found erotic. It was like a taste of the forbidden. I was a Gryffindor, eternal enemy of Slytherin house since the formation of the school. But, like Eve, I soon fell to temptation. I sampled the fruit that Lucius had to offer. And that was my downfall.  
  
When he first heard my name, he said that there was a beautiful ring to it. Narcissa Aspasia. When we married, he was reluctant to let me take his last name, to mar mine. He did so only under the order of his father. It would not befit a Malfoy to take a wife without possessing her completely. It was all right. I wanted to be possessed by him. I wanted to be a part of him, to allow that delicious darkness to become one with my own soul. I did not realize what I would lose in the process.  
  
Our son was born soon after we married, in about a year's time. Lucius named him Draco. The Serpent. It was a tribute to Salazar Slytherin, a man who, though long dead, had never ceased to possess my husband's adoration. Lucius read Slytherin's journals constantly, trying to follow his mentor's philosophies to the letter. I once tried to interrupt him while he was reading. He hit me. Twice. I suppose I deserved it.  
  
I tried always to be a part of the Malfoy dynasty. I held grand parties for the family at our estate. They called me Dear. 'This tastes delicious, Dear?' 'What are your plans for this Christmas, Dear?' 'Is Lucius treating you well, Dear?' Their faces were warm, but their hearts were cold. When I retired to my quarters, I overheard them speaking of me. 'Narcissa is no good for Lucius.' 'The breeding is there, but she isn't like us.' 'She was a Gryffindor, you know…'  
  
I couldn't listen to them any longer. I dashed up the stairs to our bedroom. The baby was crying. I soothed him with a slow song, and he was silent. I did not realize that I had been crying with him. I wanted more than anything to be like them. To hold the sam forbidden darkness in my heart. I learned from my husband, following his lead. As he fell under the influence of Lord Voldemort, I did the same. Together we killed his enemies. Many times. Too many times to count. I could not look into the faces of our victims with the same delight as Lucius. I felt empty, like darkness was eating my heart. But darkness had captured my heart years before.  
  
When the Dark Lord fell, we put on good faces. Masks, really. Lucius was with the Ministry of Magic. I became the consummate housewitch, making sure that the manor was kept running smoothly. My beloved grew angry with the world, angry that his master was destroyed. His outlet was me. I did not mind the pain. He loved me, and that was enough. Wounds heal. My love did not bruise like my body.  
  
Draco grew quickly, becoming a young man who looked so much like his father. His hair held the same golden light, and his soul held the same delicious darkness. He had his father's eyes. Ever shining emerald eyes that betrayed the cunning of their owner, glinting like snakeskin in the light of the sun. I kissed him the day he left for Hogwarts, knowing his fate. As I expected, we were owled that he had been sorted into Slytherin. To say that Lucius was pleased would be an understatement of the highest caliber.  
  
Lucius and I lived in relative quiet, until Lord Voldemort was ressurected. Lucius went back to our old master on his knees. I did as well, not wanting to lose the man whose love meant more to me than my own life. We did not know that one of our kindred was a spy for the Ministry. No, not Snape. His treachery we had known of for a long time. It was Zabini. We should have guessed his true affiliation. His wife was muggle-born. Voldemort had the traitor killed, but not before he owled a list of Death Eaters to Albus Dumbledore. Lucius and myself were on that list.  
  
When it was discovered that the Malfoys were in league with the revived Dark Lord, we were outcast from wizarding society. Draco was just finishing his seventh year. He took as his wife a poor Gryffindor whose family had long feuded with our own. Our own son turned his back on us. Lucius was furious. I tried to calm him. He broke my collarbone.  
  
I was confined to my bed for a week. Lucius did not return home for a month. His power and influence gone, he had only one goal: to please his dark master. I finally realized the true mistake of my name. I was not Narcissus. That was Lucius's role. I was Echo. In my innocence, I stood by my love as he gazed into the reflecting pool that was dark power, and I slowly faded away until I became nothing but his shadow. I was no longer the bright, beautiful young girl. My beauty had faded with my soul, and I hated the darkness I once coveted.  
  
So now, I finish this account of my life and love. I hope it will be kept somewhere, read by those who would desire a taste of the forbidden. As I set down my quill, I will raise a silver goblet to my lips. It took me weeks to find the ingredients for this potion. I will drink it, and I will sleep. And the darkness will consume me forever.  
  
~FINIS~ 


End file.
